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Rand Paul: Tea Party Conservative, And All-Around Knucklehead
Good News For Republicans: Rand Paul won the GOP Senate nomination in Kentucky.
Bad News For Republicans: They can’t get him to shut the fuck up.
Rand Paul is very anti-government. So much so, that he has stated that the Obama administration’s sticking their noses into the BP affair is “un-American”. Really Rand? Can you possibly be that stupid? Did you watch the interview on 60 Minutes with the last worker stranded on that 10W-40 inferno? You know the one Rand, good buddy…it was the segment where the employee stated on numerous occasions that BP was a disaster waiting to happen, and his superiors ignored the warnings, electing to roll the dice with workers’ lives. In Paul’s opinion (and this is consistent with the uninformed lunatics known as the Tea Party), the federal government should just butt out of state and business affairs, and trust that the conglomerates will naturally do the right thing, regardless of the effect on profit/loss statements. Yeah, right. If we can get Rand Paul (btw, why is his name backwards?) out of My Old Kentucky Home for a moment, and into a city with more than 300 people, he can take one look skyward and see why the government has to intervene. Anyone in Los Angeles can see the cloud of smog hovering overhead on any given day. That smog isn’t due to smokers, or barbeques, or cow farts. It’s from factories and car manufacturers who ran amok, unconcerned about ozone, or any fucking thing, until the creation of the EPA in 1970.
Here’s my problem with the Tea Party, and in that group I toss in Sarah “You Betcha” Palin. They are the bitchers of the world. They see everything about the government as unnecessary, yet haven’t given a thought as to how the US as we know it would change if the government formed a militia, and did little else. Let’s take the state of Kentucky for example. Ranking 26th in population (a little over 4 million people), and 43rd in per capital income (approx. 28K/year), there is no fucking way you can be self-supportive without sky-high taxes, or another source of revenue. But, as a little experiment, why don’t we allow KY (good lube, lousy abbreviation) to go for five years with absolutely no federal intervention, save for the national guard which will be necessary shortly after they see their state budget deficit. Here’s what it means Rand old man…no Social Security payments, no funds to keep Interstate 65 free of pot holes as you roll through Louisville, no postal mail service, and we’ll have to close the federal base known as Fort Knox while we’re at it…remember, nothing relating to the federal government has any biznes’ on Kentucky land. Federal fugitives will flock to your state, since there won’t be any nosy FBI agents getting in the way. And since the government will have no place in Kentucky, won’t that pretty much eliminate the reason for the office you want to pursue, Mr. Paul? And as for the estimated state budget deficit of 1.4 billion dollars in 2011, how are you gonna make that up? Even in our demented society, you can only get so much money from selling bourbon futures. While there are certain aspects that the government shouldn’t be involved in regarding individual states, your vision of throwing the baby out with the bathwater is lunacy in its purest form. In short, Sir, you are a fucking idiot, and it took less than a week for Republicans to realize it.
Enough About AZ Already…Idiotas!
Read carefully before you unload the hate mail, people. But I am in favor of the new law in Arizona which allows local law enforcement to require proper documentation of legal status in the U.S. during legal stops. Let’s look beyond the rhetoric for just a moment. The loudmouths belch that this law will lead to AZ cops stopping Mexicans or people who look Mexican, just to harass them, and this is racial profiling. This is rhetorical bullshit, plain and simple. In fact, the law has language which prevents just this sort of police behavior. Keep in mind the purpose of this law is to catch people who are in this country illegally. We’re talking about anyone who hasn’t bothered coming here for political asylum, or on a student visa, or who hasn’t the slightest idea of how to obtain a green card. In my mind, anyone here illegally is spitting in the face of someone who has labored through the system to be granted the privilege of residing in a great country. Remember when you were in school? If you studied your ass off for a test and got an A, weren’t you a little resentful of the dumbass who copied off the really smart kid and got the same grade? You bet your ass. If anyone can just say “fuck the rules” and get the same rights as people born here, then why have borders at all?
If you look at the government’s website on immigration, there are limits as to how many immigrants from each country who can obtain legal status here each year. The reasoning can only be because the U.S. wants to be as diverse a country as possible. Nowhere does it say: 1000 Greeks, 10,000 Germans, 15,000 Canadians, Unlimited Mexicans. For an idea of how immigration has changed so dramatically, and to view some very frightening statistics, click here. The article offers some interesting views, some I agree with, and some not. Judge for yourself (but read the entire article).
This is not a column about the desirability of Mexicans in the U.S. I just believe (as do a majority of Americans, according to the polls), that there has to be a system in place, and it has to be enforced. Period. And don’t give me the horseshit argument about “well, if we get rid of all the illegals, who will do the menial jobs?”. The answer is, the same fucking people who did all those jobs before the illegals were here! I started out making $2.20 per hour at McDonald’s…the same McDonald’s which now asks me if I’d like a HuevosMcMuffin when I enter the drive-thru. I’ve visited cities like Charlotte, where the car wash was staffed with high schoolers, hungry to make a few bucks to pay for college. Every shitty, fucking job currently being done by an illegal worker was once done by someone here legally. And by the way, if that same person here illegally went through the arduous process of staying here legally, he/she would be entitled to at least the minimum wage as set forth by state or national law.
I can’t for the life of me, imagine who the big mouths are who are protesting. Naturalized citizens of Hispanic origin, Mexicans who have immigrated here legally, and even people who are here on work or student visas, ALL should be singing the praises of the AZ law. This law basically will separate you from people who have come here without so much as an inkling of what it takes to stay here legally. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could leave your home and not get the stinkeye from some boob who’s thinking, “Goddamned illegal.” No, that would go away if everyone in the U.S. were here legally. I can’t imagine going to a country such as Italy to live, and not respecting their laws. If I were to take up such a foolish notion and got caught, I’d have every expectation of being sent to jail, or at the very least New Jersey. One of the reasons I don’t travel much to foreign countries is that I don’t want to have to learn intricate laws which may land me in the pokey next to a guy named Boris.
The most insulting argument (coming out of LA City Council, no less) is that the AZ law will result in a parallel with Nazi Germany. WTF! Are votes from people who blindly jump on a bandwagon without any clue REALLY so important that you’ll equate having to carry proper ID, with the genocide of millions of Jews? Please tell me you aren’t THAT moronic…you’re the future of the city for fuck’s sake! We’re billions of dollars in debt you liberal FUCKS. How about you pay more attention to that, and worry less about pleasing misinformed calls for an AZ boycott. Hey Arizona, here’s an idea…why don’t YOU boycott Los Angeles? See who blinks first (hint: it’ll be LA). And I challenge even one person, to adequately explain what is legally reprehensible about this law. Go ahead and provide a comment. Just one caveat…whatever you say, I have the right to rip it to shreds with my superior intellect. Don’t just write that I’m a dope. Back it up with some facts and good, sound reasoning. I don’t give a shit about what may or may not be morally wrong about this law. If you don’t like our immigration policy, feel free to get elected to public office and offer us your brilliance. And no asinine remarks about what a pain it would be to carry the ID with you everywhere. You already have to carry a license, registration, and proof of insurance when you drive a car. Would it be a HUGE inconvenience to also have citizen documentation? Get real, and stop with the smokescreen arguments!
I’ll even go a step further, just to help you all out. I’ll offer my suggestions for getting this country back on track.
1. Organize a nationwide sweep, and anyone here illegally…off you go. See how our unemployment rate looks then. The sweep might take a year to eighteen months to do, but believe me, I’ll be the first one to answer my door and proudly show any official my birth certificate.
2. Eliminate the clause which states that children born here, regardless of the parents’ legal status, are automatically naturalized U.S. citizens. This is a nice little bullshit ploy by illegals everywhere…they have a kid, and it makes us look like heartless bastards because we send the parents back, thereby breaking up the family. Nope, if you’re here illegally, and you have a kid, your kid is every bit as illegal as you are. So when we say, “Off you go”, make sure you save room for your child.
3. Make it a felony to employ illegals. If Billy’s Landscaping requires proper documentation, illegals will have a hard time wanting to stay here. And Billy isn’t going to risk fifteen years in Attica, just to make a few extra bucks. And by the way, another argument against the “who will do the work?” idiots…If Billy pays his laborers 8 bucks an hour, and two guys take an hour to work my yard, don’t you think I’ll pay the extra four or five dollars a week to ensure the work is being done by legal residents? And don’t give me the nonsense of how poor Billy’s business will suffer. He’s the one who has been making the most off this. He’s the one who pays less, often screws the worker out of money rightfully earned (after all, who are the illegals going to complain to?), pays no payroll taxes and certainly no insurance, and has been laughing all the way to the bank for years.
4. Now here’s the one that will throw all you bleeding hearts off…have an immigration policy which makes it easier to come here legally. That’s right, I said it. BUT, enforce the shit out of it. Make sure everyone using our inalienable rights are qualified to do so. I would absolutely make it a requirement that anyone wishing to immigrate here (regardless of country of origin) be required to pass an English test. I’m not talking about the differences between verbs and pronouns, etc., but they should be able to read traffic signs, and speak the language. It will not only make for a smarter immigrant, but the respect they receive from others will surely go up as well. And we need to stop printing our driver’s license exams in fifty different languages. How can we allow someone who only reads Cantonese to get behind the wheel of a four-thousand pound killing machine? It’s goddamned lunacy is what it is!
Lastly, to those who think I’m some sort of racist, may I give an old-fashioned, Chicago, FUCK YOU! When I went to school, I never once gave a rat’s ass about where anyone was from. In fact, I attended a virtually, all-black college at one point (go Chicago State!). If someone wants to be here bad enough that they go through whatever rigorous procedures our government has deemed appropriate, then I say, “Welcome”. Enjoy the U.S. just as I have over the years. Vote, exercise your right to free speech, surf the Internet for porn, fart in public, and smoke a little medicinal marijuana while you do it. If you’re here legally, I invite you to stand proudly next to me and know we’re still in the greatest country on the planet. But if you’re not, lo siento, or désolé, or taurig…you gotta fucking go. Worst case, I’ll mow my own damn lawn.
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