LA Comedy Writer

Update: Okay, I’m an idiot. After posting this blog, I got to thinking about the title, and redundancy abounds. After all, anything written below I’ve obviously thought about. In fact, it would be impossible to do a column of things I don’t think about, because I would have to think about them to assemble the list. Go ahead and try it…make a list of things you don’t think about, without thinking about them. Not so easy, is it? Still, call narcotics and tell them I have 200 pounds of dope in my living room.

At NASA, when they’re in the middle of an important meeting, and someone asks a stupid question, does the speaker say, “Damn Jim, it’s not rocket…well, it is rocket science, but you should know this shit”.

Beck, Olberman, Limbaugh, et al, does anyone actually give credence to anything these guys say? It’s a scary time we’re living in, media-wise. Fox News, MSNBC, they’re promoted as news channels, but these hosts, under the guise of liberal or conservative, still have to make controversial statements regularly, to keep viewers. Mixing facts with out and out lies, they vomit opinions, and I have to wonder just how many viewers buy the bullshit. I’d like to think that anyone with goddamn sense watches CNN for news, and the political programs for entertainment only, the reality is that there’s a great number of people (not all living in trailer parks by the way) who take their words as gospel. And if you dissect the opinions, you’ll realize that these hosts are doing nothing but campaigning for the next election. When Rush Limbaugh publicly states that he wants President Obama to fail, even a fan of his has to wonder what his motivation is. It’s these people who are contributing to the gridlock in Congress. When you have Republicans voting against their own bills, the lunatics have taken over the mental hospital. I dread the future.

Sad to see the demise of the Hummer. Goddamn, I love those behemoths, not for the 10 mpg gas guzzling, but because GM made an SUV which was different. I’ve always loved having an auto that was a little outside the mainstream, and it’s a shame that with the halting of Hummer production, we’ll be doomed to more cars that all look the same. The H2 was a head-turner, and maybe some astute company will pick up the name/design from GM.

Saving Grace has been canceled. Gotta wonder what it takes to stay on TV nowadays. SG had great ratings, and it wasn’t cancelled by TNT, but by Fox Television, the production company. Fox’s reasons were because of low DVD and overseas sales. WTF? It used to be if a show was a ratings hit in the U.S., it was good enough to stay on for years. Now (as if it’s not hard enough to come up with an original concept, hope you get picked up with a good time slot, and hold your audience), you have to imagine what will drive DVD sales and viewership in Stuttgart or Athens? Give me a fucking break. And while I’m at it, how many weeks is ABC going to sabotage two very good comedies (Modern Family and Cougartown) with reruns? Despite great numbers and critical acclaim, ABC insists on showing goddamn reruns half the time. I’m sure this is a strategy to not waste new episodes during the Olympics. Memo to Moron Central at ABC: Not everyone is glued to the Winter Fucking Olympics. Give us some original programs as an alternative for fuck’s sake! While proud of the USA’s medal count, I’m not going to watch the luge competition. I don’t watch any event where the main goal is to lie in a prone position, and not kill yourself falling off your sled. It’s a hill coated with ice! I didn’t time it, but I’m pretty sure I went down a hill near my house in the winter of ’74, and had a good enough run to medal. Was I an Olympian? No, just a kid who didn’t want to fall off my sled and die.

I had the occasion to watch Young Frankenstein, for about the 30th time. Each time I watch, I bring something new away from it. The scene which struck me, was, when Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle are on stage in the theater. When their song and dance number goes awry, the crowd starts throwing vegetables, prompting a riot. Has anyone seen this in real life? You’re getting ready for the opera, and putting your tuxedo on, the wife, a sequinned strapless gown. You’re on the way out the door, and stop. Oh shit, I almost forgot the tomatoes and lettuce! And what kind of security is at these places? I go to a Bon Jovi concert, and they perform a strip search before letting me in. But at the opera, I can pass with my opera glasses and a head of lettuce? List of banned items: cameras, water jugs, explosives, weapons…Approved: opera glasses, salad ingredients. I’m just sayin’…